Pointless stories from beyond your cereal box!
by He's So Amazing
Summary: Just alot of pointless stories of things I make fun of(Scooby Doo, Horror movies, Tickle me Elmo, the girraffe from toys r us, etc.)R+R!!!!!!!!! No flames!!! CHAP 3 UP!!!
1. Elmo and the Ghost of Ghously Groupie Ba...

"Please help me make sense of this!" 

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8........

Dedication: To anyone who had made me smile, such as Tickle me Elmo when he exploded cause accidentally tickled him to much...

~_*Pointless stories from beyond your cereal box!*~_

_Chapter 1..........._

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"Mommy," Little Jimmy-Bob-Gregory-David-John-Eric-George called out to his mom, or just Jimbo for short, "can I get this Tickle me Elmo?" he asked as she came walking up to him.

"Let me see." she said as she picked up the doll. She poked it in the stomach and it didn't giggle, she tried the back still didn't giggle. She even tried his foot, it still wouldn't giggle. "I think this one is defective sweaty." she told her child as she dropped the doll to the floor of the toy store, it landed on its crotch and it began to giggle.

"HEHE, that tickles, do it again." Elmo said as it shook all over. The women screamed and ran to the clerk.

"That tickle me Elmo doll is perverted!" she told him as she pointed to the Elmo on the floor.

"Oh know sir." the clerk began.

"I'm a lady." she told him coldly.

"Oh sorry, it's just that your mustache makes you look like a man, that's all." the clerk explained. The mother just rolled her eyes. "Anywhoo, that isn't tickle me Elmo, that's 'Sexual Fantasies Elmo.'" the clerk told her. The mother nodded in symboling that she understood. Just outside Rinoa and Squall and the whole gang were walking down the center of the mall, when suddenly....

"OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" A ghost wailed as it popped out from behind a corner and ran away.

"Hey this looks like the sign of a mystery gang!" Squall told them, everyone nodded.

"Bee-Boo" Bee-Boo exclaimed. Bee-Boo was their freak bird type thing that had a purple beak that flew around.

"That's right Bee-Boo, we got to capture that ghost!" Rinoa agreed. They all nodded and ran after the ghost. They ran until they found themselves at an a fork in the road.

"What the hell is that fork doing there!?!?" Squall yelled in an irritated manner. 

"It was probably put there by the ghost to confuse with something else, or to stall us so that we stand on this spot and we fly down into the basement where we will have to split ourselves up into two groups and Zell will most likely be the first to stumble on the ghost. But I seriously doubt that!" Irvine told them in one long breath. Everyone looked at each other, but before they could finish I contact they were sent bareling down to the basement. They landed with a 'fump'.

"My glasses I can't see without my glasses!" cried Zell.

"You don't have any glasses." Rinoa told him.

"Oh right." Zell said rubbingt he back of his head.

"Ok, Rinoa, Irvine and I will split up into one group." Squall told them, "and Quistis, Zell and that weird bird thing will split up into the other group."

"His name is Bee-Boo, Squall." Rinoa told him harshly.

"Whatever." Squall responded as they trekked forward.

"I'm hungry," Zell stated, "let's go to the kitchen where will probably encounter the ghost!" Zell added.

"Why do we pair up in groups?" Quistis asked in an irritated tone. "it's not like were gonna do anything better this way." she told them as they entered the kitchen. "And where did this kitchen come from!?" Quistis asked looking at her surroundings. "And what the hell is Bee-Boo!?" Quistis asked in an even harsher tone.

"Just chill out, the ghost isn't going to get us!" Zell calmed as he ate a hot dog. Quistis just rolled her eyes.

"OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" the ghost screamed as it popped out from behind a corner. They all screamed and Rinoa, Irvine and Squall jumped in the door way and flung a net over the ghost.

"Yeah!" they all cheared.

"Now lets see who the ghost really is!" Squall said, and the ghost disappeared. "Oh, I guess he really was a ghost." Squall said in defeat. Then Bee-Boo flew up to the top of the room, opened a hatch and out came Cid Kramer.

"Cid!" Rinoa exclaimed. "You have been doing all this!?" Rinoa asked. Cid nodded.

"How did you make that ghost though?" Zell asked.

"I think I can answer that one." Irvine said. "He used this flash light, these two squirrels and this sticker of a play boy bunny." he told them as he pulled htem all out and formed the hologram of a ghost.

"Oh." Quistis simply stated.

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A/N: Was this funny? I hope so....**NO FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Next chapter: The gang goes see the very scary movie, Night of the Walking Living!!!

R+R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Giraffes......Marry Poppins.......more I...

~*_Pointless....I forgot the rest of the title*~_

_Chapter Bologna......_

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"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!" the girl on screen screamed as the zombie fell down. She began to shake her head violently. Rinoa leaned to her side where Squall was.

"Why is she so scared?" Rinoa asked. "It fell over." Rinoa added, backing her point up.

"This whole movie is dumb, lets throw stuff at the screen." Squall suggested. Rinoa shrugged but took her watch off and threw it at the screen.

"Yeah!" another person screamed in front of them as a cow came hurdling at the screen.

"Let's get out of here." Squall told her as he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the exit.

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Selphie's house.........

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The phone began to ring. Selphie quickly walked to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?" she said as she put popcorn in the microwave.

"Do you like scary movies?" the husky voice on the phone asked.

"No." she told him. 

"Well, what movie were you about to watch?" he asked.

"Fluffy the Pony and the Magical rainbow." she told the man.

"Oh." the man simply responded.

'Why do you ask?" she asked.

"Because I see you right now." the man told her menacingly.

"Really? How is my makeup?" she asked.

"It's fine, but aren't you scared at the fact I can see you?" the man asked.

"Should I be?" Selphie asked as she twirled her hair.

"Uhhh....yes." the man said.

"Oh, I guess I'll start screaming now, buh bye!" she said happily as she hung up. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Selphie screamed loudly. "I have to lock the doors!" she reminded herself as she lept to the back door and locked it. She took a deep breath in. Until she heard a knock at the door. She grabbed a metal baseball bat and walked to the door slowly. She turned the handle on it ever so slowly but she swung the door open and began to beat the crap out of whatever was there. "Die you psycho shit bag!!!" she yelled as she pulled back the bat for another one until she saw who it was. It was some trick or treaters.

"Owww.." one kid whined. "I think I broke my leg." he complained.

"Sorry." she apologized sheepishly as she closed the door.

"Bologna!" the killer screamed as she turned around. Selphie let out a high pitched scream which knocked the killer in the ghost costume to the floor. Selphie looked to her left and found: A rifle, a knife, a grenade and a banana. She quickly took the banana and began to run for the back door. She slammed into it and tried desperately to open the door.

"Shit!!" she cried as she tried to wrench the door open. "How do you spell 'Bologna'!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" she yelled. She turned around and found the ghost tripping over its sheet at the bottom. "There is no time!" she told herself and with that she threw herself through the window. The ghost quickly got up, unlocked the door, opened it and ran after her. Selphie turned around and found the ghost running after her tripping ever so often on the sheets. "I have to use this now." she told herself as she looked at the banana. She chucked the banana at the ghost and it exploded into a giant nucleur mushroom cloud.

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Squall's dormitory......

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Squall and Irvine were sitting on the couch watching Oprah. "So." Oprah began, "is your job a tough one?" she asked. The camera moved over to the griaffe in the seat.

"Yes, my job as the toys'r us spokes person, animal, errr...whatever, is very difficult." he told her. Oprah nodded for him to continue. "And I feel that Toys 'r us should rule the world." he told her.

"Man, that giraffe is messed up." Irvine said. Then there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Squall said as he walked to the door. He opened and out sprang Marry Poppins.

"Lets get this house straightened up!" she said happily. "Just a cup full of cocaine makes everything go down!" she said as she shoved some up Irvine's nose. Irvine collapsed to the floor.

"Get away you psycho!!" Squall ordered as he opened the door for her.

"But I haven't shown you my dancing Penguins!" she told him as she was being shoved out the door. Before she could get a response the door was quickly slammed into her face.

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Bee Boo's weird house type thingy..........

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Bee Boo was flying around casually around his weird 'pad' type thing, but suddenly, Selphie jumped out from behind a corner and jumped Bee Boo. Selphie quickly tied Bee Boo to a chair with masking tape. "That's for taking my place!" Selphie said proudly. Bee Boo began to squak loudly. Selphie quickly gagged him with a tie. Now he couldn't squak. She smiled at her deed. "Well that was easy." she said as she walked out of Bee Boo's weird house type thing..........

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A/N: Well? How did you like this chapter? I hope it was good!!! I relies that this was just a collection of pointless stories, but heck it was funny right???

R+R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **NO FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	3. "Tonight on Cops: When Good Breakfast Sa...

~*_Pointless....I should really remember the rest of the title.....*~_

_Chapter 3........._

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"Hey cool," Selphie began as she picked up a book, "the new Harry Potter book is out, it's called, 'Rampage of death for Harry'." she said happily as she hugged the book close to her chest.

"You actually read that stuff?" Irvine asked.

"Of course, it teaches me evil incantations-I mean good use of words." she corrected herself. Irvine just rolled his eyes.

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Rinoa's dorm type thing.......

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Rinoa and Quistis were on the couch watching a commercial. "And if you explode into tiny pieces we'll do absolutely nothing for you, we could give a crap less!" the spokesperson told them. "So by our new Kilala Grand Machinagunna for yourself today and see what life is like when you don't have one!" the man exclaimed on the screen.

"What are commercials coming to these days?" Quistis asked. She picked up a bag of chips, looked inside of the bag and a large rabid raccoon popped out of it and landed on her face. Quistis didn't move.

"Quick Quistis, maybe if you scream and start rolling around on the floor it will get off of you!" Rinoa suggested. Quistis nodded and began to scream, which only provoked the raccoon to begin to viciously claw at Quistis's face. Quistis began to roll around on the floor, which still only provoked the raccoon to keep on scratching. Rinoa pointed at her as she rolled around the floor and began to laugh........

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In that romantic flower place type thing.......

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"Wow Squall, this is romantic!" Exclaimed Rinoa.

"I know." He admitted.

"You know what would make this perfect?" Rinoa asked him.

"What?" He asked, wanting to know, desperately.

"If you lit a candle." She told him.

"Good idea." Squall agreed as he pulled a lighter from his pocket. He pulled out a candle and lit it. But the candle came to close to his jacket and lit it ablaze. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Squall screamed.

"Squall. Quick, stop, drop and roll in that dry grass field over there!" Rinoa commanded as she pointed to the dry field. Squall quickly ran to it and began to roll around on it which only set the entire field ablaze. Squall stood up and began to run around screaming in pain. Rinoa just pointed and laughed. But realizing her boyfriend was in pain she picked up a fire extinguisher and yelled. "Here you go!" And with that she chucked it and the large extinguisher smashed into Squall's head and he collapsed to the ground. As the extinguisher hit the ground it set an even higher blaze of fire into the air. "Whoops, forgot that was flammable." She said with a laugh.

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Infirmary Type place....

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"Hello Ms. Kadowaki." Zell greeted.

"Any injuries?" the doc asked.

"Nope, none. Just stopped by." Zell told her with a shrug.

"That's ashame." Kadowaki said as she walked up to Zell. But she quickly punched him in the knee cap and he collapsed to the ground.

"OW!" Zell screamed in pain.

"Whoop, looks like we are gonna have to cure that quickly!" She said.

"Did you punch me on purpose?" Zell wailed.

"Of course not." She said as she dabbed some chloroform onto a handkerchief and shoved it against Zell's nose and mouth. Zell was about to protest but he quickly fell to the ground unconscious. 

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A/N: WHOOOOO!!! Haven't updated this story in awhile, eh!? HEHE!!!

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


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